SHREDDING. What is it? Who does it? Who does it RIGHT? Who does it WRONG? How can I tell the difference? How can I be sure to do it right? Why should I give a shit? Why is shredding so bashed on? Why is shredding so misunderstood?
Shredding is a subject that is the biggest debated, most heatedly argued about subject in all of the guitar world. People who actually totally suck are held up as guitar hero’s. Real players who are truly legendary are at best glanced at, then forgotten, but normally ignored. Why is this? How and why has this reversal occurred? From the 17th century towards the end of the 20th century (1991 or so to be specific) a musician was treated with the highest respect if he was of an incredible ability. The most well known and relatively recent examples of this are: Nicolo Paganini, Franz Liszt, Frederic Chopin. And these legends seem to have faded.
These and so many countless other musicians of a supernatural caliber have been ignored with almost no exception (Coletrane is one modern day musician occasionally talked about). Some guitar players who’ve had their day in the sun to varying degrees are Edward Van Halen, Randy Rhodes, Yngwie Malmsteen, Steve Vai and, Joe Satriani. There are others….. just fill in the blank.
Here are some of my thoughts as to why we have this continuing problem. WE as Americans are pathetically fuckin’ stupid. And sadly, it’s not limited to music. So, we have illiterate morons in varying degrees all over the country graduating and not graduating from high school with no way to tell the difference. Today when someone is gifted at something and their at a typical school k-12, the scumbag-puke, low-life students of the school will insult, berate and relentlessly harass these people and treat them as outcasts, just for using their minds. This is what we have still. But, with music we have championed mediocrity like I still can’t believe.
Shredding is:
1. Having perfect technique and applying it.
2. Having total technical command of the instrument.
3. Having very good to great musical knowledge: theory, arps, scales etc, to build lines along with all the nuances including but not limited to bending to pitch and correct vibrato. Meaning how it works and making it work for you.
4. Taking all of the above to create lyrical phrases and overall well thought out compositions and the ability to improvise very good phrasings to beautiful phrasings over any progression…….
………………..This is the GOAL
Playing guitar is one of those things that is constantly evolving and you’re always getting better (in theory). Even if you can’t do something today, tomorrow you will hopefully be a little better. Why is shredding always attacked? Because the people who attack it are lazy, jealous, resentful, butt-fuckin’ slobs who will never put in the flight time to do it right. And that lack is carried over into and through out their pathetic lives. Misery loves company. And, since we Americans overall are fuckin’ miserable, wretched slugs, this is what we do. Bitch about, bash, attack and insult talented people because we aren’t willing to do what it takes ‘THE WORK” to accomplish greatness ourselves. You know….like when you insult the Japanese saying, ” Look at those rice patty slopes playing shredding guitar! They’ll never be as good as an American!” Yep, I’ve heard you fuckers say this kind of shit when you thought no one was around. Well, the Asians and Europeans kick ass on guitar and fewer and fewer Americans relatively speaking are putting in the “CORRECT” time into burning ourselves. It doesn’t have to be this way.
But, until enough of you filthy fuck’s clean up your own shit, it’s gonna stay this way. Here’s a partial list of awesome players to check out, you stinkin’ jackals:
1. Shawn Lane …..the number 1 greatest of all time. So very, very far above any and all others. The greatest who ever lived and will ever live. Rest In Peace, Shawn. Musically speaking, G*d himself spoke through this man.
2. Alan Holdsworth—Living Legend
3. Greg Howe—Outstanding player by any account
4. Larry Mitchell—–has a fluidity, class and style that’s so original and a breath of fresh air. Shredding without shredding.
5. Frank Gambale—an original burner with terrific phrasing
6. Bret Garsed—-along with T.J. have produced some of the best guitar music recorded.
7. Roy Ashen and T.J. Helmrich— the two most incredible 8 finger players I’ve ever heard.
8. Al Di Meola
9. Yngwie Malmsteen The guy who pioneered shred.
10. Jason Becker
11. Kei Morioka Of all the terrific japanese players I’ve heard, and their are many, including but not limited to the most well known, Akira Takasaki, Kei Morioka is head and shoulders above them all. In fact, I believe Kei Morioka is one of the top 5 greatest electric guitar players that has ever lived. Bar none.
12. Randy Rhoads
13. Michael Lee Firkins
13. Craig Collins Turner
14. Marty Friedman
14. Scott Henderson
15. Chet Thompson
16. Steve Morse
17. Paul Gilbert Fantastic alternate picking an fun shapes.
18. Steve Vai Maybe you’ve heard of’em?
19. Dallas Perkins Fairly unknown but I just like his playing. He’s been very creative over the years and a helluva nice guy.
20. Jake E. Lee The greatest live performer I’ve ever seen. And, the best live performer of Randy Rhoads material too.
21. Joe Holmes
22. Rob Marcello Because I’m quite pissed off with Rob, I’m very reluctant to say anything good about this ass. This Swede can burn with very good phrasing and ”okay” songs. There, ya happy Rob?!! Now, stick it up your ass!!
23. The DeMarco Brothers, Freddy & Johnny Terrific duo and their CD Shipwrecked is too damn cool.
24. Patrick Rondat
25. Luca Turilli Along with keyboardist Alex Starpoli
26. Todd Duane You had so much promise. Todd, I remember when…..
27. Chris Impellitteri He was burning during Yngwie’s formative years.
28. Ronni Le Tekro
29. Kiko Loureiro Isn’t too bad…
30. Brian Carol aka Buckethead Brian and I were introduced to each other many years ago (yes, without the bucket) and found him to be a very quiet and pleasant guy. I find Brian’s music overall to be just too peculiar for me. I very much like the Nottingham Lace version live. The version where you hear a guys voice at the beginning in the back yell, “Buckethead thank you for coming!” There are others. Brian can burn, there’s no doubt. But, I have a low threshold for heavily discordant, incoherent material. His “Leatherface - gore” theme is amusing but wears thin fast for me. Brian’s the best thing ever to happen to G n’ R. That’s one band I may have to do a post on. I just don’t fuckin’ like ‘em.
31. Bruce Bouillet of Racer-X Got all of Paul’s sequences down and to speed within a week or so of Paul teaching them to Bruce.
32. Chris Arvan Was Paul Gilbert’s replacement in Racer-X and had no problem filling Pauls shoes. Those of you fortunate enough to hear Chris rip live at 19/20yrs old know this.
There is one maybe two of these players (Alright!! Maybe more!!) who have an odd ball way of picking which I don’t recommend doing.
Who sucks? For a guy who has a B.A. in music and has had it for over 25 years, Michael Angelo still can’t come up with a half way decent tune. What the fuck??!! Michael has been able to make a living doing clinics around the world, teaching his brand of PAINFULLY BORING, USELESS, BRAIN NUMBING, 30+ year old ideas (that sucked the first time around) to a brand new, fledgeling group of guitar players and how to pick fucked up. His speed, at best is barely adequate. But……his stuff with Holland wasn’t too bad. Hey Mike, have you finally learned your lesson about “locking” the doors on your equipment truck? And, maybe it’s not such a good idea to park it overnight in a K-mart parking lot!! Ya think?!!!
Zakk Wylde. Everytime I see or hear this filthy, grimy, shit-throwing monkey I wanna puke. Zakk is the type of savage that people immigrate to avoid. Go read my page on him.
John Petrucci. Almost as fuckin’ boring as Michael Angelo. John may very well be Michael Angelo’s long lost twin brother. John’s 2 hour instructional video is the largest collection of the most utterly useless bunch of sequences and exercise’s I’ve ever seen in one place. John’s phrasing sounds as creative as listening to bricks hit a wall.
Slush of G n’ R…..ugh!! yuck!! Even coming across a picture of him, I swear I can smell his dirty, unwashed presence.
Dimebag Darrell …….one sloppy-ass player. This has nothing to do with the tragedy of him being killed. So, don’t send me your shit.
And of course the masters of suck: Santana, Clapton, Page, Lifeson. I’ve got posts on them here.
Read my other posts and more to come….
Oh! by the way, anchoring your picking hand’s little finger or any finger on the body of the guitar is total bullshit. DON’T FUCKIN’ DO IT!!! I don’t give a fuckin’ shit how fast some prick plays doing this, he’ll play FASTER picking from the wrist and not anchoring. Pick from the wrist. And stop with the drunken spider fretting hands too!!!
People who only hear fast notes with every shred player have the musical equivalent/development of a kindergartner. The vast number of people who make this “no feeling” statement are really at the baby food stage of musical development. Or, they’ve been repeatedly beaten about the skull with a ball-peen hammer. Another way to recognize these musically illiterate people, is how they hold a spoon or fork, like they’re a 2 year-old child using a sandbox shovel. And, breathe outta their wide-open mouth while eating. For many of you, just look in the mirror.
Well, that’s it for now, kiddies. I may expound another time in a new post or increase this one. So, what are YOU going to do? Continue to suck….. or do something about it?
Until next time…..
Love, Crappy xo