I Am Always Right, you are always wrong!!!!

I’ve been around the proverbial block in the world of the music business. A lot like your sister has been around whatever cockroach-infested block you live on. I know shit, and I’m going to tell you things I’ve experienced firsthand as well as through friends and acquaintances who have been involved at various levels of this shit-sandwich business. As I go along with these posts, you may get rattled because I firmly believe in being brutally honest. But I’ll try not to hurt you too bad. No, fuck that: I’ll include very colorful language and comments that will thoroughly piss off most of you, a result that I couldn’t possibly be happier about. Through pain comes growth. Remember that, if you can, but I won’t hold my fucking breath on it.

The TRUTH, as with any antiseptic medicine applied to an open wound, hurts like a mutha. But once the area is thoroughly cleaned and sterilized, hopefully you will be the wiser for it. If you’re not, that’s your fucking problem, not mine. Still, my goal is to educate and even possibly rehabilitate as many of you developmentally disabled head trauma “Tards” as possible. Will it work? No, but I don’t really give a fuck. Your mother wanted a normal child – did it work? No, and I’m sure she didn’t give a fuck either. She’s probably sitting there right now in her shack saying, “I don’t give a fuck, I don’t give a fuck, I don’t give a fuck. Why did I have kids? Somebody please put an end to it all!” As long as I do my part to help you, that’s all that counts because, as you’ll soon discover, I AM ALL that COUNTS. I AM ALWAYS RIGHT, you are always wrong.

Practically all of you are brainless sheep that go along with whatever mongrel you’re told is good or great. And practically all of you lack any congnitive ability to recognize the difference between true quality talent versus the shit coming outta your ass. This is where I step in.

The bulk of my writings will be in the form of strong, venomous attacks. This is necessary since the amount of horribly putrid musical talent and gutless product I’ve been forced to stomach, has been staggering since the 1960’s but even more abominable since the unearthing of rap/hip-hop (thank you Aerosmith assholes you fuckin bastards! Read about it here-> The Aerosmith rap/hip hop Connection  http://crappystruth.wordpress.com/2007/07/26/the-aerosmith-raphip-hop-connection/ ) and the band Nirvana, who put the final nail in the lid of the real rock/metal scene coffin in 1991. Their album title “Nevermind” should have been a clue, but most of you people didn’t fucking take it literally, and now we’re all paying for it. Here’s an old saying that many of you have probably heard: There’s only one thing better than Kurt Cobain killing himself at 27 years old – Kurt Cobain killing himself at 26 years old. Come to think if it, I guess I can think of 25 things that would have been even better.

There are very popular shitty guitar hacks out there, and some of these are ancient derelicts that have been lingering like polio since the 60′s. These are guys who are so fucked up, you could put them in an empty room with two ball bearings and in ten minutes they’d fuckin break one and lose the other. I have issues with all of them because they suck and I don’t, and I’m sure you’re going to want to know how I could EVER say such HORRIBLE things about these worthless, talentless, gutless losers.

Just to give ya a little taste as to who I’m talking about here are some initials of these pathetic “Tards”: E.C., C.S., Z.W., J.P., B.S. (B.S. also claims to sing too). I can say those things because I know what the fuck I’m talking about. I’ll go into detail about all of these shitheads, A.K.A. “legends,” when in reality they are true paper tigers, so get ready. On the other side of this rat sewage, there’s truly a lot of incredible talent here in the states as well as abroad that I can’t talk up enough – REAL TALENT, in other words, not some jack-off playing a left-handed piece of shit guitar like a Sears paint shaker while wearing his old man’s filthy beer and guacamole stained bowling shirt (read “Cobain, the heroin addict cocksucker”…coming soon!), and I’ll inform you of everything you need to know where all that’s concerned. Fortunately there’s a silver lining to all this. It’s called ME.

So you’ve got a LOT to look forward to in learning about the music business as well as what music to begin listening to and supporting. Plus you can look forward to being smarter, brighter and more appealing than you ever thought possible. Won’t that be a motherfucking change for the better!

Now, to quote a famous metal front-man……”Let the Madness Begin!!!!”

For a very spicy between-meal snack, (when you take a break from shoving fucking Big Macs down your gullet), you can check me out at www.youtube.com/crappystruth .

If you want me to get you a date with a chick you’d have a chance with, write me and tell me where your mother lives. No, I’m kidding. I’m fucking there right now and she’s outside dealing with the fucking cops.

Finally, if you’d like me to personally bust your fucking ass, you can write me at crappystruth@yahoo.com Maybe I’ll write ya back if I’m not too busy enjoying my life and if you can form sentences ya jackass!!

Your pal, Crappy

p.s. Be sure to “click” onto the column’s title to read all the lovely comments all these “good Christians” have to say…..Mid-westerners are such fake, cold-hearted fuckers. They could make an ice cube colder.

Some educational, non-music sites I like:

http://www.occupyforanimals.org

www.prophetofdoom.net     by  Craig Winn

http://www.infowars.com                       by  Alex Jones

http://www.prisonplanet.com               by Alex Jones

http://atlasshrugs2000.typepad.com/

http://www.pamelageller.com/

Thomas Drake  http://www.coasttocoastam.com/guest/drake-thomas/59026  Sunday September 16, 2012

http://www.thenation.com/article/161376/government-case-against-whistleblower-thomas-drake-collapses#

Former NSA official Thomas Drake and NSA Whistleblower

46 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. To the person who created this website,

    You are an overly analytical anal bead. Get over yourself.

    Crappy here,

    To the person who wrote this comment, put your dad’s anal beads back into your mouth and get back into your trunk.

    • screw u crappy, i’m not gonna read ur response so fuck off

  2. Crappy
    Hysterical shit….. I think I played with 2 of your faves: R.R and C.C.T
    Mahalo
    Drew

    Crappy here,
    Hey Drew. Yep! I know exactly who you are, and yes, you have played with them. I hope you’ve been doing well over these years. Thanks for coming by and come back and reply anytime!

    Crappster….

  3. I usually dont give a shit about others opinion, but i could not resist.
    Reading the article about shredding.. you are 12 year old minded man, grow up and post some of youre playing, you also seem to have a lot of hate inside, get analyzed

    cheers

    Crappy here,
    Another armchair psychotherapist from the peanut gallery. Sure, post my music for a bunch of half-wit, musical illiterates to comment on. Hey, while I’m at it, after I post my material, why don’t I go downtown and discuss Quantum Field Theory with a group of skid row bums, who’ve been off their medication for 10 years. Here’s an idea for ya, how about taking some inventory of your own lack of taste and do something about it. Every one of you fuckers are already cocked to go off no matter how high my quality is. Go listen to the people on my list from “Shredding What Is It??????!!!” By the way, try working on your sentence structure and punctuation before leaving comments.

    “Cheers!!”

    • With regard to your concern about others’ sentence structure and punctuation, the spelling should read, material not materiel, you simpleton. I am a classically-trained musician with more qualifications than you have contributors to this site and your comments about Rush are laughable. If Technique is your only god then go and worship it; however, leave musicians to carry on creating music.

      Crappy here,
      Hi Foghorn Leghorn (http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/a/a0/Foghorn_Leghorn.png) ,

      Thanks for the tip. I use far more than enough $10-$50 words and concepts to afford me the right to have an occasional letter out of place from a $0.75 word. But I see that’s the best you could do. You’re just like the rest of the bellyaching-pussies that can’t find anything legitimate to argue about.

      If you were a “classically trained musician” AND read my other columns, the ONLY comment you’d have to write me would be in agreement with me. YA FAKE!!

      Sentence structure?? Look in the mirror, “Ya Simpleton!!!”

      • LOL CRAPPY U KIDDING ME? REALLY? SCREW U I’M NOT READING UR RESPonse

    • really your bitterness is unnerving. by the way joe satriani is garbage, i’d rather listen to the two-bit hack at the music store race through half-musical scales, rock music is also garbage god allmighty what the hell are these singers trying to acomplish with thier horrid falsetto and pungent poetry? none of them are good at all, and you know it. you know dick about hip-hop, and not much about music in general. otherwise we would be listening to your music, you arent an original or an undiscovered genius, you are a dick-bag with a shitty attitude. i am a hack. i dont really have an issue with that, nor do i think the world owes me for it. these guys you rip made it and you wont poor unfortunate you, the vincent van gogh of the modern age right? get real. you suck more than kurt cobain, you werent even in the sex-pistols, shit.. you werent even in dokken or cinderella the only way you get web traffic is the retarded lists you put between your dumb-angry articles. being profiecient and being an artist is lost on you. you are more micheal bay than micheal jackson, there is a reason or 7 why peole dont really want to listen to yngwie but you dont seem to grasp it, write a jingle write a hit, you douch, your great right? why cant you write a good one? why are there not agents and bands and beautiful big-breasted women beating down your door? easy; ’cause you suck.

  4. Ok lets face it, ur a person who lacks a spine, you poccess no talent at all, and so as a defense mechanism, you see to it that your life goal must be to tarnish the name of respectable and rich (in all senses of word) musicians and persons, who have neither insulted nor offended you other than inspiring millions of others. Get over yourself, or you will continue to lead your life as a real rolling stone (poor, unhappy, selfish little-minded excuse for a human being). PS – Eric ‘Guitargod’ Clapton is a real inspiration not only for his unmatched musical ability but also for the way he has came through tough events in his life. Get out of that one Crappy, you gimp!!!

    Crappy here,
    Well, well, …. well. Yet another armchair psychotherapist from the peanut gallery who’s feelings I hurt. “Ok lets face it.” Of course watching an occasional prime time drama makes you an authority at something. Me tarnish someones name you say! This next comment of mine in quotes will easily dismiss all you’ve said along with everyone who doesn’t agree with me, “I don’t make the news, I merely report it.” “Rich in every sense of the word,” since he is that to you, then you really are a terribly sad and pathetic individual. That you, along with millions of your brain-damaged brethren don’t know any better, than a toddler eating dirt. Maybe you’re right, maybe Arthritis Hands Clapton is an inspiration to people just like you. Clapton inspires awe in people just like fire did to cavemen.

    Thank you for ALL of your mizspellleded words to say the least, ya dumb jack-off!!! NEXT!!!!

    • LOL? this guy such an idiot, can’t even play guitar, just says other people are crap, look who’s talking bitch, i bet ur some dumb loser who sits around his computer all day writing useless comments that would nothing to your life, just wasting time, when u could be actually LIVING ur life and just wasting it, so fuck u. FYI: i’m not gonna read your response so IN THE FACE bitch FUCK OFF

  5. I don’t agree with you on all of the things you say. Guys like Clapton and Santana may not have the technique of a Steve Vai or Yngwie, but they speak to the soul with pure emotion, regardless of if they hit the proper pitch or not. Anyway, I’m a fan of all of the players I’ve mentioned; they all make some great music, just different flavors. By the way, what do you think of Jeff Beck? He’s one of my big inspirations.

    Crappy here,
    Pure emotion without the ability to articulate it and then convey it to others, becomes incoherent noise and is wasted. Having a 600 bhp engine on an engine stand and revving it is meaningless until it’s connected to a transmission and then put into a car. Encouraging people to play without putting in the correct practice time, encouraging half-ass, sloppy, half-hearted attempts without caring about the outcome is flat-out wrong. That’s why we as a country are slugs and we are the laughing stock of the world. There are 26 letters in our alphabet. Exclude 12 of the 26 and try to talk to people, try to communicate and see how well that works for ya. Bending to pitch, smooth even vibrato, smooth string crossing. These are a few of the simple, elementary ingredients to creating memorable phrases.

    If you don’t care and don’t hold people and yourself accountable, why should anyone else? And, you being some form of educator should know this. Letting people get away with garbage is wrong. Yes, I do like Jeff Beck.

    Thanks for your comment and check back…

    Crappy

    • I understand what you mean, I just haven’t noticed it in Santana’s music (I think his early stuff is really original and enjoyable), though I know what you mean with Clapton. In any case, I’m sure you know a lot about the guitar and was wondering if you had any advice on developing a balanced and disciplined practiced routine. Any tips on how much time to spend learning theory, using a metronome, etc. each day?

      Crappy here,
      Hi Erik, and thanks for checking back. Yes, there is some structure I can suggest. Since developing ones musical abilities allows for a lot of flexibility, you can mix and match daily, the order in which you practice your materiel. Depending on the time you have available per day, and the fatigue your hands and body are in from the days events. Since most people practice when their workday is done. Much of the theory portion, since it’s done on paper can be done anytime without an instrument. Example, if learning to read standard notation in the beginning, you’re learning the notes, accents and meanings of these on the treble clef (a.k.a. G clef) first.

      UNLESS you’re planing to do guitar session work, transcriptions and/or composing for more instruments other than the guitar, I’ve never seen a real need for having the ability to read standard notation and traditional chord charts in rock, as I know them to be. This is why guitar tablature has been so popular for the last few decades as an alternative. As with so many things about learning guitar, learning to read is NOT hard. And yes, I can read and I found not one time has it come into play in a rock context. People like to make most things mysterious or harder than they really are.

      If you have 2 or more hours available to practice on the day you’re sitting down to do it, if possible divide the time into 3 sections.
      1. Your technique exercises.
      2. Your scales, arpeggios and some chord fingerings.
      3. Your original material when you’ve got it.

      If your time is less than 2 hours for that day, focus on just one of these three. It’s better to put quality time into developing one thing than half-assing three of them. Another way to put it is, it’s better to do one thing very well, than three things half-assed. If you’re a beginner to intermediate, I would say work on technique exercises. The reason for this is, you want to eventually have the physical ability to play what’s in your head the way you’ve envisioned it. The physical part will normally take longer and more work to get down then the mental part.

      I suggest when you are comfortable with knowing where to put your fingers on the fretboard for a given scale shape, arpeggio shape or lead shape you’re learning, when you can do this relatively easily, then begin using your metronome to smooth out that item. There are other things to go over and incorporate also, but you’ve got to have some starting point, and I feel this is a good place to start.

      Some people believe in using the metronome at the same time they’re learning a new item. I don’t believe in this. I feel the smaller the bite-size that something is, the easier and quicker you can master it. Small things done correctly and proficiently, and then linked together, become big things done correctly and proficiently.

      I’ve begun a section entitled “Crappy’s Guitar 101″ where I’ll be covering playing Do’s and Don’t’s. Some variations of what I’ve written here for you may turn up in future posts. So, check back for those. Feel free to also e-mail me on any specific questions you may have and I’ll get back to you when time allows. This should be a good starting point for ya. Let me know how it works out and have fun.

      I AM The Truth In Shredding,

      Crappy.

      • Thanks a lot for the advice, it all seems easier than I thought it would be. I play a lot, was just curious how to organize it. I have no intention of being another Malmsteen, but like you said my main goal has always been to be able to play/express whatever I heard in my head and that means being able to do anything. Thanks again.

        Crappy here,
        Hey, you’re welcome, Erik.

    • SUCK MY DICK U ASSHOLE SO SUCK UR MOMS TITS IF SHE HAS ANY BITCH. YOU PROB CAN’T EVEN PLAY ONE SONG PERFECTLY ASSHOLE YOU CAN’T PLAY GUITAR. NO TASTE IN MUSIC. NO TASTE IN LIFE. GUESS WHAT BITCH, NOBODY LIKES YOU NOBODY UR FRIENDS ARE JUST FAKING TO LIKE YOU CAUSE THEY PITY YOU, ACCUTUALLY THEY THINK UR AN ASSHOLE, SUCH AN ASSHOLE. GUESS WHAT BITCH U CAN GO SUCK UR STEP DADS DICK AND BTW IF UR PARENTS ARE DIVORCED SCREW U HA HA HA IN UR FACE WHAT IS UP! FACE!PARENTS ARE DIVORCED HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAH TOO BAAADDDDDD BITCH.

  6. Love your take on the radius of fretboards and the 24 fret issue. I bought 3 KILLER boutique brand neck throughs for around 600 dollars shipped to my door. ZERO neck heel under the last 4-6 frets but god DAMN it the fucking radius frets out bends.

    Another HUGE issue that every manufacturer seems to overlook, since they’re all so very clearly mediocre and simple minded blues guitarists, is the cut away is never deep enough to allow nimble access to the upper frets!
    Kramer made a few models with the extended cut and zero radius boards, why the fuck are we still dealing with the garbage designs from 80 years ago when 30 years ago, Kramer and boutique builders introduced the solution!?

    Rusty Cooley’s signature model has the deeper cut, as do several of my guitars thanks to a router.

    And don’t get me started on the bolt on vs Neck through issue. For one neck through is actually easier and quicker to build, only down side is higher maintenance and more challenging to repair. Most companies however will still sell you a neck through with a heel that’s as big, if not bigger than a bolt on OR, they sell you a set neck with a MASSIVE heel that’s been heavily painted so they can claim neck through. Meanwhile my boutique brands have ZERO neck heel behind the fingerboard. I have a Fender Supercaster neck through I stripped to the wood and routered away the heel along with digging the scoop deeper since those lazy fucks at Fender couldn’t be bothered to press a few buttons and slightly modify the CNC machines blueprint they use to build their guitars while they sit on their asses telling the world their guitars are all “hand crafted”-Gibson sells the exact same lie. Only thing their hands do to their guitars is attach the necks, even the painting is down by CNC be it fancy custom artwork, sunbursts or your basic solid color finish.

    You should also cover twisted necks, my god these fucking morons that use these brainless, off the shelf repairs because they have no….brains! They say pull the fret wire, get the fingerboard milled to an angle to compensate, refret it then grind your frets to compensate it more fully.
    WTF?
    What happened to simply steaming the wood, locking it in a jig and positioning it so the neck is perfectly flat so when it dries, it will stay perfectly level for at least a few more years until you twist it again. Low and behold when you play as much as I do, your hand curling around from underneath tends to eventually put a twist in the neck! Who would have ever though!..and who would have ever thought to use the most common wood shaping technique ever devised! I’ve seen steamed wood bend into fucking circles for Amish buggies. Now if you play maybe a couple hours at a time a few times a week, you may never twist your neck but if you’re like me where you play countless hours a day just about everyday of the year, you can get a neck to twist in just a year or two’s time.
    -Some repair shops, but not many, actually repair twisted necks the right way but, most are run by jackasses that think the answer is sandpaper and refretting.

    Anyway, gotta go do some more sanding to even out the radius on my favorite guitar since it doesn’t allow me to bend notes beyond the 14th fret. David Gilmore would be disgusted to touch such an instrument that tells him “NO BENDS” at the 15th fret and he’s totally old school in terms of the designs he started out on! I mean who the fuck bends like David….

    Maybe we should start a trash group that trashes the reputation of these builders so they understand that they need to wake up and join the new millennium!

    Crappy here,

    Hey Jon, thanks for stopping by. You’ve covered some very interesting subjects in YOUR new column!! And, I’m happy to have your thoughts up on my site. I’m also glad you enjoyed my views on ZERO Radius (a.k.a. completely flat) and 24 fret necks. I’ve been giving some thought to my part 3. In it I’ll be covering cutaways, horns, that big square, sharp cornered, fuckin’ block heal my hand has lost so many fights with far too many times. And scalloped fret-boards, to name a few goodies.

    I’ll also tell you why I feel the major companies with the exception of a few of Ibanez’s high end stuff (and those are just scrap crumbs they’re throwing to the customers anyway) why they will likely never make some or any of the corrections they should. It’s very cool you’re doing some advanced woodworking on your own. I’ve gotta say, I’ve never had a problem nor come across a twisted neck. You’re idea to steam it and then jig it, as the Amish do when creating their carriage wheels seems like a very viable alternative to sanding the shit out of it and removing mass.

    If you’re having a twisting issue with your guitars, it sounds like you must have a vice-grip handshake! Or, if your part of the country has a heavy humidity and heat level as in Florida. One great way to fix this (or more of a preventative after you’ve steamed and jigged it) is, you can route out two channels the approximate length of the neck, one on each side of your current truss rod, and install a Carbon Fiber neck rod into each channel and that should fix your twisting, Permanently. For gluing in the rods, you can use superglue, epoxies, or wood glues. There are special precautions you MUST take when working with Carbon Fiber. So, read the instructions very carefully and heed ALL warnings. The Ibanez RG 550 Reissues have an upgrade in that, in order to prevent neck warpage problems that the original RG 550 customs had (the customs came with a Wizard neck), the new necks are 5 piece maple/walnut with dual titanium strengthening rods on either side of the truss rod for structural stability, much needed on the 17mm – 19mm original Wizard profile.

    I do want to say Jon, unless you’re somehow sentimental about a neck, you’re much better off throwing away that neck and just start fresh with a new neck using my preventative remedy. Then you’ll never have another probem with a warping/twisting neck of any kind under normal conditions. Maybe even abnormal, Haa haaa!!

    Kramer guitars have always been a puzzle to me. Their guitars were assembled with very good parts and still consistently played as shitty as a Hondo, at 3+ times the price of a Hondo. Thanks again Jon and check back!

    Crappy!

    p.s. For those of you wondering what the hell we’re talking about, here is my original part 2 post:

    http://crappystruth.wordpress.com/2008/01/11/part-two-why-you-over-paid-by-hundreds-to-tens-of-thousands-of-dollars-for-your-electric-guitar-and-should-have-your-fuckin%e2%80%99-head-bashed-in-for-doing-it-part-two/

  7. Hey your methods have really helped me out. Lately have been learning the melodic minor and it’s modes and exploring arpeggios and how to mix them into scales. Thanks again. By the way, how amazing is Eric Johnson?! That guy is so unique and inspiring.

    • Sorry… also wanted to comment on how amazing Coltrane is. First time I heard him was “Giant Steps” and instantly recognized him as genius. Anyway, I’ve seen your mention of him and here’s a live performance of the beautiful “Naima”… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p_ywkpVJ624&feature=related

      The point is you talk about sloppy guitar players, but here is a musician you admit admiring and yes, there are some sloppy phrases. The only point I’m trying to get across is that there are many musicians who can get a point across with less than perfect technique. I definitely think it helps to have proper technique down to get your point across, but I don’t think it is fair to put down some important artists like Clapton and Santana, guitarists who Van Halen and Vai have most definitely been influenced by respectively, for better or worse. Anyway,thanks for the help and the good musical conversation.

      P.S. Recently checked out Greg Howe’s “Jammin’ on Sunny” video on YouTube. For someone not very familiar with his work, Wow!. What an amazingly melodic and textured piece of incredible improv. Thanks for the nod towards Mr. Howes’s work.

      Erik Heymann

  8. Hello everyone,

    Wanted to leave you all word that the brilliant Craig Collins Turner (who SHOULD have been Ozzy’s guitarist) now has an official website with photos, downloadable mp3′s and more! Go check it out at:

    craigcollinsturner.com

  9. Sorry dude, it’s me again. Forget about that rant up above, I had a few too many beers. But I do have another question that you might be able to help me with. Do you have any ideas on how to attack learning all the nuances of the melodic minor scale? The internet’s been a great resource for helping learn the instrument in the past year (I’ve been playing since 2000, but burned out a couple years ago ’cause I was too lazy to try and learn by myself even though I have a good ear). However, I just haven’t been able to find much info on this scale and the application of it’s modes. So if you have at least one thing new for me to learn, I would be grateful.

    Crappy here,
    Hey Erik, I’m only 3 1/2 months late getting back to your question! But here it goes. I was just hangin’ out with my very, very close friend “The Secret Shredder” the other day (and boy, does his new mask look great!!). I mentioned your question to him and this is what he said, “Scales are scales, are scales which is what they sound like. A rose by any other name …..Still doesn’t smell like MAB (Michael Angelo Barnyard)… Play the scale like any Major scale but just lower (flat) the third.” And it’s just that easy!

    And, there ya have it! Happy Holidays!!

    Love ya babe, never shave….

    Crappy…..

  10. After countless times trying to post my opinion about this crappy loser and it getting discarded i have only this to say, post a YouTube Video of you playing guitar, pussy.

    Crappy here,
    Well “shredalot” (you deserve lowercase), If you really did try to post a comment and it didn’t show up, it’s because you are a moron. I post EVERYONE’S comments!!! EVERYONE’S!!!

    I have to “approve” your comment. So, if you (and you means all who are reading this) flip-out because you don’t see your posted comment up right away, have some patience ya fuckin’ 3 year-old!!! I’m away from the computer or another way to put it is…I’m just busy….LIVING!!! You want a faster response?? Send a cashiers check or money order to my P.O. Box.

    Also, I may be preparing a response to your comment so I can post them together.

    You’ve just now figured out how to post something, how nice. Or you’ve asked your remedial teacher whom you regularly threaten, to help you. I’ve addressed the “post your music” comment more than once. Go look for it, ya wart.

    Happy Holidays !! :-D

    Crappy ooxx

    • ROFL??? Sad loser man, what do u do for a living, writing comments? I bet to get the money to get ur computer, you went to the douche factory to clean people’s vagina to money! screw u because i’m not gonna visit this site ever again, it doesn’t deserve a second visit so too bad.

  11. Hey Crappy,

    Thanks for getting back to me. I already knew that Melodic Minor was Major with a flat third theoretically, but when I applied it to the guitar, I always thought about it as a Dorian fingering position with a major seventh. However, I started thinking about it at work and thought that if I visualized it on the instrument as an Ionian fingering with the flat third, I could come up with some different ideas, so thanks for the help! It’s funny how a little bit of thought can change your perspective on a fairly simple matter. I’ve also been thinking lately on what scales are most important to learn that can convey musically how one feels. I’ve narrowed it down, all the modes of Major and Melodic Minor as well as the Harmonic Minor, Phrygian Dominant (and perhaps Dorian #4), and the symmetrical scales: Diminished, Whole-tone, and Augmented. Any thoughts?

    Erik Heymann

  12. Who’s B.S.? Oh and by J.P you probably mean Jimmy Page but you could also mean Joe Perry or John Petrucci.

  13. Wow. Just… wow.

  14. lolz someone is paying to keep this on the web?

    • nice one, high five.

  15. THE ONLY REASON YOU DONT LIKE RUSH IS YOU CANT NAME A BAND BETTER THAN THEM. YOU COULD PLAY ANY RUSH TO SAVE YOUR LITTLE USELESS LIFE. OHH BTW. ALL 3 MEMBERS HAVE BEEN RATED #1 AT THEIR INSTRUMENTS…NEIL PEART, 47 YEARS IN A ROW. THANKS BUDDY

  16. You are such an arrogant motherfucker.. But you are right ! I’m so glad that someone stands up for real music & musicianship. Please, keep them coming. And you need more coverage.. you must bring this *knowledge* to the low life inhabiting this planet.

    Crappy here,
    Thanks babe!

  17. I just finished reading all your blog, and I must say at first I didn’t expect to find such good info & insight, only more hate :P I see things a little differently now. As for your mission, it is very sad.. It doesn’t matter anything you say here because they will still remain at the musical comprehension level of zak wylde’s snot blobs. I too must admit that I started from simpler forms of music (some bad) and gotten here to this level some good years later. AND I’m still just 10-20% familiar with the music you love (and which I also appreciate), but I’m glad I still have so much good music to discover.. It seems they won’t make more too soon.

    The conclusion: it doesn’t matter if you’ll change the world or not, your purpose has been fulfilled if it helped me, so thank you..

    p.s.: You’re still the biggest hiding-behind-a-computer internet douchebag of them all, but a smart one ;D Have fun~

    Crappy here,
    You’re very welcome….

  18. At first I thought you had some good points about how virtuosity and composition skill are rarely found in modern music, but then when I read what you said about Rush [AKA "The most Technically Skilled Band Eva"] I realized that you are just a fat, no talent, internet troll, with nothing better to do than rag on musicians you don’t personally respect. So good day to you sir! Have fun in your mom’s basement. TROLL P.S. Maybe one you’ll grow balls and finally put some videos on youtube, then we’ll see who sucks. P.P.S. Shawn Lane rocks

  19. Shredding is the newest masturbation form for lazy,ignorant,egoist and opportunist guitar players.Playing fast only the single/soprano line from a piano concert from Mozart or a prelude from Bach is not a big deal for a non professıonal guitarist.Thanx to frets of guitar, playing a capriccio from Paganini on guitar is also very much easier than violon.Playing fast the arpeggious of major-minor chords has also nothing to do with creative musicianship.Unfortunately most of the girls are not educated well for understanding the details of real music but they love your long hairs and fast fingers. Now put your high gain/distortion pedal and go. POWEEEEEEEER ! :) :) :) :)

  20. Hey! ur a fucking retarded ass motherfucker, go suck ur fucking cock cause thats all ur ever gonna get. Jimmy Page sucks? ur mom mustve fucking droppped u on the head wen u were born fcuking ass tard. I Bet you can’t even fucking play a guitar so maybe you should shut up. YOUR MOM is probably in a fucking SHACK saying to herself, “WHY DO I HAVE SUCH A HORRIBLE CHILD SHULDVE WORN A FUCKING CONDOM WHEN I HAD HIM”. I swear if I ever see u on the street, im fucking gonna beat the shit out of you. You think you know stuff but u dont, ur just a fucking middle aged man living in ur moms basement. How about you go get a fucking life and stop hating on the greats man, you are really sad. I bet your have no friends cus’ you noe, just look at yourself in the mirror. You just fucking sit on your ass all day hating on people you’ll never get to be like, fucking loser. How about you go outside and make friends, but thats impossible for you cus ur just a fucking loser no one likes so fuck you and ur mom. Your always right? Bet you fukcing failed every class you attended, you fucking were retained for 5 fucking years. Retarded, you say im wrong but guess what bitch, IM FUCKING RIGHT THIS TIME

  21. Metal music sucks. FYI: I’m never gonna visit this site again. TOO SUCKY may destroy my computer because it’s too lame.

  22. What are your thoughts on Herman Li (guitarist for Dragonforce)?

    Crappy here,
    Hey Johnny, I feel Herman and Sam are horrible. I mention them on my “SHREDDING” What is it???!!” column near the bottom under the section, “Who Sucks?”.

  23. yawn

  24. hey crappy
    you are really just a fat slob with no balls.I feel pretty bad for you. You hide behind the internet and shit on other musicians with out putting any of your work up to see. I really wonder what your music sounds like. I would put money on the fact that you dont know how to play..seriously

  25. What do you think of Mötley Crüe?

    • I really thought Motley Crue was a band that typified Hollywood Metal, so naturally I loved them.

  26. I just “stumbled” over your website here and couldn’t resist. I was reading stuff about the new white boy who thinks he’s a guitarist Joe Bonermesser. As for Clapton. Face it your wrong. I’m 60 made a life time out studying guitar and music. Your problem is you never got your break and the world doesn’t understand what a genius you are right? Although not in the same class a jazz master like Joe Pass or Grant Green, Clapton has done wonders in the Blues Field and continues to keep that genre alive. A difficult task since the world has been taken over by corporate fuck heads. You shouldn’t be so hard on your fellow players. Not good. His style is unique, plays nice melodic lines. Has a pretty interesting voice and basically has done his homework on the blues. Yes I know the Blues is becoming a dumping ground for un tested in life middle class white boys who thinks and old hat and a tatoo make them blues men. I share your anger to a certain point. Do I jerk off to claptons music? Of course not, I keep him and his reputation is perspective, considering the whole world of guitar. You need to calm down and enjoy life. Mike Zinna.

  27. I do understand where you are coming from when you talk about guitarists like Clapton and Page but they came from a different generation. They were original pioneers of rock guitar and shredding as it exists today was not even on the radar back then. They made the guitar (along with Jimi Hendrix of course) become an instrument at the forefront of music. Prior to these guitarists, the guitar was mainly an instrument in the background. Without these guitarists there would have been no progression to guitarists like Yngvie Malmsteen or Eddie Van Halen. Everything in life is a progression and each generation should be getting better than the previous generation.
    You can look at anything in life from the techniques that doctors used back then to the modern techniques they use today.
    Every generation should be improving but they have the early pioneers to thank because without them we would not be at the level of playing that we are seeing today.
    By the way I am only 27 years old and I am a student of music (not just the guitar) but we must all learn to respect what got us to this point.
    Enough of the guitar snobbery. I love Eric Johnson and a lot of the technically proficient guitarists that you mention but outside of us guitar players how many people will really sit down and listen to these guys without getting bored. We appreciate them because we are guitarists but most of the general population will tune out when you play their music.
    One of my favourite musicians, who I think is absolutely brilliant is Pat Metheny.
    What are your thoughts?

  28. You’ve read all the same shit that I read growing up. “Breaking ball bearings in a sandbox with a rubber mallet”

    Everything you’re saying rings true, and I have often advised others with similar efficacious information but I grew weary of explaining things to people and gave it up.
    I didn’t want to turn into an asshole because people are so trying 9f the patience much of the time. New concepts cannot be understood by many people in the first pass, not even the second. If you want someone to learn something, they need to dictate to paper what you’re saying, so there’s a physical connection to the words. Then they need to read it over and over a few dozen times, and then they need to venture away from the study table and try a practical application of it and see if it works before they even touch on understanding it, and maybe one day it will click or maybe it won’t.
    Just my opinion. Your experience may be different.

  29. Man, what a rant. I take it you despise Sharon, OK and you think Joe is the man for the gig. I’m sorry if I didn’t read the length of your rant about Sharon, but let’s see if I can be wrong about something here? I can’t give you too many clues about my relationship I once had with both Jake and Joe, but in my opinion Joe could have done more to secure a future after Ozzy, and let’s face it, nobody really has, not Jake or Zak. Joe needed a personal manager, like fucking me. I would have had him change his fucking name, play a fucking flying v instead of a what he likes, and never go on stage without a shirt. He needed a publicist and a make-up artist, and some fucking choreography and a couple shots of Jack whenever he’s around the Osbourne’s. I would have played right into what that wife of Ozzy’s wants and I would have had her finance most of it, which I’m sure she would have gladly. That’s all I’m gonna say on the subject, keep up the rants, I’m sure you’re right about everything and really between Geezer and Oz and the gang, if Joe can emerge with his soul still in tact, he’s way ahead. Because those guys want potential “spell casters” not Stratocaster’s on stage. If you sell your soul you’re in, if you don’t you’re out and I’m glad Joe Holmes didn’t change his name because I would have been right there telling him to do it. If you can’t, or you won’t make a pact, then get the fuck out of the business. It’s not about music, its about serving the dark lord. Don’t expect anyone to tell you that either, they keep it very secret. If it wasn’t for a former high echelon member of the Illuminati divulging his secrets to me and others, I may not have ever concluded this fact about the industry.

  30. Hello idiot. Do us all a favour, get a life, and stop complaining and finding excuses to hate on some of the best musicians in the world.

    Try doing something with your life. It’s a little helpful when you decide to spend yoyr time doing something else rather than sitting at your computer sniggering at people who have the right idea and are telling you off, and then you going and making up idiotic insults in your head just because you wanna make them feel bad about themselves.

    Crappy here,
    Sniggering??? yoyr???? Happy New Yesr!!! ???

  31. Here’s something that I don’t think you understand or get and that is Sex!!! All you metal/shredding nerds don’t get that other people don’t care for it(especially girls). I mean sure I could see a clip of Vai, Petrucci, Satriani or whoever spent their teenage years getting no pussy whatsoever and say to myself, “Wow, he’s been playing for a long time, I could never hit all of those notes and nor do I ever want to because people that do kinda of look like tools”. I’ll agree that on a technical level a lot of the guys on the top of the list weren’t the cleanest. Guess what? No one gives a flying fuck. Rock and Roll aint sposed to be perfect!!! Thats why you spend your time on this pathetic site putting down people who could give a flying fuck who you are and not on the road with your music that no one wants to hear. This site is a joke and that anyone that reads it and gets offended is just as much of a loser as you are, some people just don’t have a sense of humor and are way too sensitive.

    Now take this to heart and get out there and be somebody god dammit! Go get some pussy even if you gotta pay for it. I guarantee that when you do your asshole won’t clinch so much and you might hit a wrong note here and there, but you know what? It’s okay, cause rock and roll aint sposed to be perfect. (originally posted in 2008)

    Crappy here,
    Yep you’re right. Rock “aint sposed” to be perfect. That’s why “rock n’ roll” today still sounds just like 50′s Elvis. Come to think of it, That’s why the 60′s, the 70′s, the 80′s, the shitty 90′s, the shitty 2000′s, the shitty 2010′s still sound just like 50′s Elvis.

    I appreciate your intense interest in my sex life. You sound as though you’re a little too interested in my sex life. You’ve pointed out some things and then immediately backtrack, then acknowledge:

    1. You can’t play like the people I compliment. Which means you suck.

    2. People who are actually talented are some how “tools”
    So, being a truly well rounded and musically expressive artist is a “bad thing.” You must enjoy listening to a hammer hit a nail all day.

    Rock n’ Roll IS supposed to be perfect, and why shouldn’t it be?? And, rock n’ roll is “supposed to be” what you make of it. What does that mean, you say?

    Well, I’ll tell ya. It means you can either make chicken-shit, or chicken salad. You can replay the same old, tired 70+ year-old shit-garbage. OR Breakout of that construct, and aspire to be like the players I respect, which are MY PEERS.

    You said here, “Now take this to heart and get out there and be somebody god dammit! Go get some pussy even if you gotta pay for it.”

    Here’s some very old news for ya pal, I “AM” someone. I’ve performed live/toured, I’ve been a guitar clinician, as well as taught guitar privately. Plus, I’ve never had to pay for sex.

    I say these things to help you, you lazy, gutless, cheep-beer-drinking, pussified ass. Take your own advice. Look into your spit-sprayed bathroom mirror, reevaluate your own pathetic life, and try to change your-own life while you still have time.

  32. I have to say i enjoy reading all your shit, tis the funniest shit i have seen in a long time. I may not agree with a lot of what you say, but hell, it gives me a chuckle, and i love some of the responses to your shit. keep writing.

    Rick

  33. I see there are many american/canadians who flock to this limp-wrist’s rants. Doesnt surprise me. Everyone on earth knows north america is the land of corporate hip hop and emo poseurs and snobby elitist cumguzzlers.

  34. Rofl@alex jones links. What a nutjob.


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