If you recall on my front page I mentioned having the beginnings of a list of guitar players initials that absolutely suck major donkey rectum. Well, let’s start here. Paper Tiger number one: Eric Clapton. Now, for the most part, I don’t have anything personally against this clown or any of them for that matter with the distinct exception of one. That “one” I will make crystal clear when I’m good and fuckin’ ready.
Maybe Clapton’s a cool guy, maybe he’s not. Either way I don’t give a rat’s fuckin’ ass. This is only about his/their playing ability or really his/their lack of, and all you brain-dead sheep-following fuckers who perpetuate the lie of this guy and all the rest’s alleged ability that really doesn’t exist. Many, if not all of these problems that apply to this guy will apply to the rest. I will take great joy in repeating every single one of their short comings in each of their respective posts.
When we are all growing up, we look up to people that have qualities we would like to emulate and with most kids those people are usually in some form of entertainment. Things we thought were totally cool and unbelievable at 10 years old, isn’t so boggling at 16. The problem with most wannabe rock musicians (as if there was only one, Haa haa haa!!!) is they don’t grow beyond that 15, 16 year old mentality. This is where you fuckin’ shitheads come in.
The more schooling you complete, the better off you will be in life. Knowledge is power as they say. The more you know, the farther you will go. It doesn’t get any fuckin’ simpler than that. And, this is true of everything. I know this is true. So many of you musically illiterate don’t agree. Having a good working knowledge of music (harmony and theory) and music vocabulary (arpeggios, scales, phrasing ability etc..) and the physical/technical ability (using a metronome, slow accurate practicing, correct hand positioning, vibrato, note bending) to pull it all off.
Your consistency will progressively make you a better player. You can’t help but get better and be a REAL well rounded and competent musician with a very good command of the instrument. Blending fast as well as slow to create a well balanced audio piece of art. But according to so many of you motherfuckin idiots this just can’t be right.
I’ve heard all the bullshit in-comp excuses, ” Theory ruins the creativity. Players who play fast don’t “feel” they don’t play with “feeling.” Playing with “feel” to ALL of you musically challenged morons, is to sloppily bend notes and never to pitch. To have vibrato that is sickeningly shallow and sounds like the guitar abuser is sitting on a washing machine during spin cycle. How do you living abortions know that someone who plays a fast, clean run isn’t “FEELING” it?!! Of course musical hacks like “Arthritis Hands” Clapton and the others to soon be named (including most if not ALL of you reading this) don’t know the first thing about using let alone possessing any technical ability to express himself.
Clapton is one of a few flukes that has had continued success due to the fact he’s been part of the drug-induced 60’s and through heavy duty drug abuse and fuzzy memories by millions of hippie stoner-addicts, he and others have maintained their loyal following by these drugged freaks and continued by the brainwashing of the unfortunate children and grandchildren of these drug addict hippies. Children who are likely dimwitted and weak-minded to begin with due to their fucked up parents.” Thanks Mom and Dad!! Will you please pass the reefer and my favorite happy face acid!!!!”
“Arthritis Hands” Clapton isn’t a guitar hero, ( I begin to choke back down bile saying hero and Clapton in the same sentence) what he is along with most of the rest is a folk song writer who uses a little distortion (and they all have consistently shitty tone at that). That’s all they are. Nothing more. But all of you want them to be something more…..more than what they really are, and that will never happen. “Arthritis Hands” sings with the same power and emotion as someone who for the last 40 years has been a 4 pack a day Pall Mall Red pack smoker with emphysema.
“Arthritis Hands” Clapton doesn’t bend to pitch ever, his vibrato is never even and it sounds like he’s a beginner that’s been playing for only 2 weeks, his less than half-ass attempts at playing in a blues vein result in badly insulting real blues players not to mention forcing me to regurgitate food I ate 2 days ago, his lame-ass attempts at “acting” like he’s playing fast is almost as painful as Carlos “Am I in Tune??” Santana’s horseshit. Clapton’s stage presence…..he has none. Put Clapton in a room full of manequin’s and I couldn’t pick him out, even if he began to sing (cough! cough! cough!) it’ll sound like a cheap $10 radio set on AM from Radio Shack.
So….huummm…..how are we doin’ so far ehy’ kids? Are ya pissed off at me yet?? You all should’ve been pissed off with the title alone, right?? And by now I’m gonna guess you wanna strangle me. And I do understand this, since all of you have the identical brain function as Dr. Frankenstein’s monster. I can almost hear your growling and moaning, haa haa haa!!!
Well, so many of you are under the misguided and warped view that ”Arthritis Hands” Clapton is a blues player, well you couldn’t be more wrong, except when “I” tell you you’re wrong. Now, this is gonna be a tough little exercise for all of you little sheep to follow, but here it goes….I’m not normally into the blues but there are only just a few living blues men still alive who have earned the right to be called “Blues Men” and called “LEGENDS” and I’m gonna tell ya who they are and these are off the top of my head. They are: Buddy Guy, Joe Bonamassa, Gary Moore (when he’s in the mood), and I’ll throw in Johnny Winter for a good rounded measure.
These are players you little sheep WILL check out. Why?? One: Because I fuckin’ said so. Two: Because these are players who possess qualities that Clapton and the rest never have and at this stage in their lives, never will. The ability to totally manhandle their guitar and make it do their bidding while simultaneously being impressive showmen. From the beginning of their set to the end, with every note played from a gentle, watery tear to a screaming attack, these “LEGENDS” truly know what the fuck their doing….end of lesson.
Your pal, Crappy.
Do you want to know who I am? Who the hell is Crappystruth?? Click this link below to learn more about me.
ha ha ha you pathetic kid. Lets here you play guitar big mouth!
Good lord, finally! Someone else who realizes the audible diarrhea that this emulating shittard produces. Clapton Sucks. Thank you.
Yow…. pretty scathing. While I am not a big Clapton fan…I am amazed that people like yourself have reduced music to an Olympic event, a contest.
Or is this just an exercise to hone your otherworldly writing skills?
Something tells me you are a famous guitar player. You know someone widely respected by the musical community.
Wow. Did Clapton spit on you or something?? You obviously know nothing about music and/or guitar playing.
I used to think like you do. I used to think that Clapton was totally overrated and garbage. But as I’ve matured as a musician, I’ve grown to realize that this simply is not the case.
He might be a tad overrated, sure. Hell, I’ll even say that I like Bonamossa, Moore, Winter, and Guy more than him. But Clapton’s still an excellent guitar player who contributed immensely to the instrument. Sure, he may not be a technical beast, but his phrasing and vibrato are both superb.
I encourage you to give him another listen, although it sounds like you’ve pretty much made up your mind.
I just lost 3 minutes of my life reading your stupid bullshit you fucking retard. It’s offensive for a moron like you to even mention Clapton.
Crappy here,
What’s offensive is the likely-hood that someone let you graduate through 8Th grade. 3 minutes of your life? Shit!! That’s twice as long as you’ve ever sat your ADD-ass still long enough to read anything. I did you a favor. Never let it be said, that I don’t do good deeds for the developmentally disabled.
“The more you know, the farther you will go.” – I think you meant further. I would have thought that furthering your education would have taught you the difference.
Crappy here,
You say tomato, I say tomato. I may phrase it any way I like.
Ok… My dad says he sucks because he has no feel whatsoever on his playing… I tried listening to some of his songs, and I have to say, the don’t suck very hard. It’s just because he does it all in plans. All pentatonic scales. That’s what blues is all about. Just, listen to a song like Sunshine Of Your Love, then listen to Stairway to Heaven (Jimmy Paige). See the difference? Lemme tell you:
Clapton: Intro, Couplet, Refrain, Couplet, Refrain, Solo. (End)
Paige: Intro, Couplet, Couplet (varied), Couplet (varied twice), Refrain, Couplet (varied again), Couplet (varied again!), Refrain (varied), Solo, Ending, (Some Text), The End.
I personally don’t like Clapton that much, but he isn’t THAT bad… M’kay!?
Crappy here,
You sound like a young person, a young girl to be specific. Since your post is clean and nice, I’ll respond the same. Some people as they become more seasoned in life, their tastes change. Things you liked to do when you were very young, aren’t necessarily so much fun when you’re a little older. Books you may have read in 2nd and 3rd grade, don’t hold your attention the same way as when you’re 12 years old, 18 years old or 22+. Do you see where I’m going with this? In the beginning I listened a little, to many of these players when I first started playing guitar and I outgrew them very, very quickly. Just the way you outgrew those books you read in 2ND grade. I know what is possible musically, technically and creatively with the guitar with my own creativity as well as the players I have the utmost respect for. Popular music today, here in the U.S., where true creativity aspires to grow, is terribly frowned upon and squashed immediately.
I hope I’ve been able to explain a little bit to you. If not, have your dad read this and maybe he can help you to understand.
Thanks for reading my post and check back.
Crappy….
Wow, I just stumbled across this website, and it is obvious you have NO clue what you are talking about. Does trashing other musicians make you feel better about yourself? All this ranting only makes you look like a tool with a dirty mouth. I think you need some friends.
Crappy here,
What’s obvious is that, YOU, have no clue, as is true with anyone with an I.Q. below 75. Since you think what I’m saying is “trashing” other musicians, than you will never know or want to know, the true creative alternative that lives. I don’t attack REAL artists. And, if having friends means to have friends like you, I sure as shit don’t need them. Thankfully, it doesn’t mean that at all.
SUNSHINE OF YOUR LOVE, yeah good riff SO THE FUCK WHAT. geebus, what else you got, layla?… LAYLAs LAMELA.
CLAPTON IS AN OVERRAATED RACIST GUITARIST.
AND HIS COVERS BLOW CUZ HE THINKS HE WROTE THEM
Yeah,he sucks…what surprises me is how you haven’t touched on the way he rides the coat-tails of others. How he wrote a song for the death of a child he never saw and then sold it to a movie that sucked too. Clapton is DOG (shit). That graffitti was rushed, and dyslexic.
Any song that has some general appeal was written by someone else and Clapton supplied the drugs and girls for credit.
Why couldn’t you have stolen John’s wife Yoko instead? Lenon may have beaten smack and Yoko could have bled the life out of you! Cripes!
Let’s hope The Devil collects in grand fashion his pay from that contact at the crossroads
Could you please tone down the insults and obscenities? I think you can still carry your point across without sounding like a black man from Compton.
Crappy here,
Haa haa haa!!!! Very funny!!!! I’ll see what I can do for ya!!
Awww Clapton fucked your girlfriend? Sad little bitch, go take a broken broom and shove it up your ass like you always do. You pedo faggot.
Crappy here,
Hey, thanks for stopping by! Come back again!!
What do Eric Clapton and coffee have in common?? They both suck without Cream. I think that during his Cream era Clapton helped redefine modern rock guitar. He was one of the first guys to put Gibson guitars and Marshall amps together. His tone during Cream was trend setting. As soon as picked up a strat he turned into Eric CRapton. My proof is the Cream reunion DVD from just a few years back. His tone and playing totally watered down what used to be some pretty rockn material. And yeah his singing is pretty terrible. Lastly, he’s really not a “blues man”. Hes a blues styled lead player. An honest look at his set list and discography(sp?) reveals some blues material amongst an overwhelming amount of pop and rock songs.
Bonamassa and Gary Moore!!! Blues Legends !?!?!
WHAT?????
I agree with you bout Clapton, he sounds nervous when he plays blues solo’s, like he’s tryin to copy the greats but is scared incase he sounds shite.
Gary Moore is a horrible horrible blues player. Sure he can play real fast, but oh god he sucks ass way more than Clapton ever does.
As for Bonamassa, I borrowed his discography off a friend of mine, and I was left seriously sickened. The guy plays cheesy oil slick blues and is way way overproduced!!! Blues legend my arse.
I could name about 100 blues guitarists i’d rate above either of these wannabes.
Crappy here,
Remember, I did say I’m not really a blues fan…These are cat’s I respect. So, you say you could name about 100. Okay…..shoot!
man, you have menthal diharrea, you don’t know nothing ’bout music. the REAL blues has no theory you fucking dickhead. do you think that the players from the delta in the 1920s learned theory. you say this because you surely are one of those motherfuckers that learn a scale and say they play blues. you say all that crap surely, because eric GOD clapton FUCKED YOU IN THE ASS. FUCK YOU SCARFACE