NO Fuckin’ chick can Rock. Broads CAN NOT Rock and Chick Bands Totally FUCKIN’ SUCK!!

I thought I would deviate a little in this installment of SUCKS to focus on the continuing proliferation of dog shit chick bands. Before I begin, here are MY exceptions to MY rule. They are Phantom Blue (the original members) and Vixen. Phantom Blue was considered a female Racer X, the one and only. And maybe an additional group of females under about 5 total that I’ve heard that have some ability to use an electric guitar. This has nothing to do with male member bands who have female singers, and there are only a few bands that I accept with female singers because these females are genuine powerhouses (these bands to be named later).

Watching a typical group of dingbat broads attempting to use musical instruments is just like watching someone’s pet trying to pull it’s stuck head out of a paper bag. No matter how many times I watch it, I just can’t stop laughing. Chicks, with the rare exceptions, do not possess the physical strength and dexterity to develop the technical ability to play a stringed instrument. Chick bands overall, at best are a novelty but really chick bands are the funniest joke in the music world.

“Hey, Crappy, what’s wrong with girl bands?? I think your head’s up your ass, dude!! Girls can rock just as hard as any guy bands out there. Bonnie Raitt can rock you asshole!! Avril Lavigne can rock!” I’ve heard these and other similar feeble comments that are all based in utter fantasy land. You little “twats” that throw this silly shit at me is like throwing a stick at the side of a 50 story building and expecting some damage to occur.

Besides these typical idiot chicks lacking any form of physical and technical ability, the songs they come up with are just the worst shit. I’m not a fan of The Runaways at all, but I’ll give ’em credit for in some way being original. I’ve found it strange how most if not all butch-dykes are into The Runaways but way more so, other chick bands where the songs are guy bashing. And they’ve got this theme of “woman power” which I find funny. Woman power…..I’m gonna try to stay away from that bunch-a-shit except to say, it was, it is, and will always be….. a man’s world. So get used to it.

Oh, and just a little “secret tip” here for all ya dumb, little, fat and skinny bitches….. chopping off your hair, getting tattoos and piercings won’t change the fact that so many of you are fuckin’ ugly. Be it fat-ass tubs or skinny bean poles it really doesn’t matter. The more of that shit you do to yourselves the fewer guys are gonna want to fuckin’ deal with you.

I personally don’t like tat’s on a chicks lower back, let alone anywhere else on her body. When I’m plowing some chick from behind and I see this, it’s like having a big neon sign I’m looking down on saying, “Eat at Joe’s” or “Toyota’s biggest dealership west of the Mississippi,” I fuckin’ hate it!!! And having piercings through area’s “south of the border” on a chick. When I go “downtown,” on some chick, I want to see, smell, and taste the girl. That’s all. I don’t want to be shockingly and angrily surprised to see “YKK” while I’m down there.

And, let’s not forget how miserable it is to be within 30 feet of a bitter, mean, wretched, nasty and hateful fuckin’ bitch. It’s hard enough for a guy to get drunk enough to charity fuck your ass, but to have to close his eyes and pretend you look okay while putting up with your man bashing bullshit, after a large number of hard drinks is just asking way too much.

Back to the subject. Some names mentioned above I’ll comment on. Bonnie Raitt, isn’t a rocker. She’s another of too many that get confused with rockers by you ignorant twinks. Raitt is a folk/country performer. Occasionally using a distorted guitar tone a “rocker” does not make. Here is some “Rock 101” for ya, an acoustic guitar is used to intro the main body of a song and then coming out of the main body of the song to it’s ending. Or for some songs entirely for an occasional ballad. Also for the biggest abomination, “unplugged.” Yes, anything “unplugged” is the biggest humiliation a rock/metal band can perform on themselves. What’s wrong with girl band’s? I just got done telling you, ya thick headed asshole.

Avril Lavigne…. aside from me having a little interest in plowing her back 40 little ass, the music she’s done is sometimes cute, but mostly goofy. To hear what material this chick would really like to be playing but will never have the stones to do it, you can check out Pintsize at Pintsizerocks.com . This material for this style of music which I normally don’t like, really kicks ass. This band is very, very tight as I would expect them to be with world renowned axe-man Paul Gilbert ensuring things are done right while at the same time Paul handling guitar duties.

This chick who’s fronting this band is going by the name “Pint” I have to say really knows her fuckin’ shit and my hat’s off to her. The production of these tunes I’m so happy to say is very good as well. The tunes that are available to hear for free on their site and Myspace page are all soooo strong and so enjoyable I really look forward to getting their CD and seeing them live.

See, that wasn’t so bad! I started off with cleaning your wound that’s called your brain and ended with some edification. This may not be the end of this chick stuff for me, but for now….go …play with yourselves…..and Pint, she’s a tasty one!

Your Pal, Crappy…

Advertisements

The URI to TrackBack this entry is: https://crappystruth.wordpress.com/2007/07/26/no-fuckin-chick-can-rock-broads-can-not-rock-and-chick-bands-totally-fuckin-suck/trackback/

RSS feed for comments on this post.

2 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Your words are like throw-up flowing from a babys mouth mixed with bits of ego, stupidity and a pinch spineless-slithering-gagging-on-his-own-ignorance-worm. And yet, the complete truth. Thanks Crappy.

  2. Your rants are pretty funny, but your spelling is terrible. Get a proofreader.

    Crappy here,
    I’d like to thank you for pointing out your inept ability to spell. If you get some time away from sucking-off your male customers, perhaps you copy and paste this sample and ANY of my writings into YOUR OWN spellcheck program. Once done and you’ve verified your public failure, try sucking of a steak knife.

    According to TWO of my spellcheck systems in addition to Dictionary.com I AM CORRECT on EVERYTHING IN ALL of my posts prior to each respective post becoming public.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: