Zakk “Six Feet of Walking Goat Shit” Wylde A.K.A. Jeffrey Philip Wielandt, A.K.A Rectal-Discharge Personally Muther Fuckin’ SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, here we are again and here it is!! This is the “ONE” I said it was personal.  Of all the mail I get for all of the guitar hackin’ losers, this is the fuck I get the most for. This is the “ONE” muther fucker I have it in for. And I’m sure all of you can’t wait to find out what my personal vendetta is with this walking turd, Tedd Nugent poser muther fucker. All of you filthy slobs better go get all your food, cheap beer and all your photo’s of Zakk you like to wack off to and get comfortable. Before I begin, I want to start with some warm-up material to get ya in the mood.

Giving a guitar to Zakk Wylde and allowing him to procreate is like giving a gun to a chimp. I’ve heard Zakk enjoys making booze in the outhouse behind his shack home in the woods. Zakk Wylde has as much class and style as a used baby diaper burning in a vacant lot. Before Zakk Wylde I had never seen 6 feet of goat shit come to life and walk around. That repulsive, walking mucus, phlegm wad mother fucker would be right at home deep inside the nearest septic tank. Zakk plays with the same feeling and emotion as a medieval executioner doing his job. For you butt-munching morons who don’t understand that last comment, it means Zakk has no feeling or emotion. Zakk Wylde is as cool as getting warm dog shit in the grooves of you shoes.

As if this wasn’t enough. I saw this walking shit-stick at (the now defunct) Club Excess in Glendale California in May of 1991 when he was one of many acts performing at the Jason Becker benefit show to raise money for Jason’s medical treatment for A.L.S. (a.k.a. Lou Gehrig’s Disease) and other medical bills. Go to for more info on Jason, the disease and the wonderful guitar music Jason has created.

What is A.L.S. Lou Gehrig’s Disease?? Go look it up ya lazy mongrel bastards!)

I have met Jason a few times and been familiar with his music for years as well as him earning my respect as a peer and my admiration. Jason is one of the most warm, kind and giving people I’ve come across. To me Jason Becker is a piece of gold. In addition to Jason being at his own benefit show in his wheelchair I believe Jason’s entire family was present and together with him in the back of the club watching the show. So moving on. Zakk the shit attack with his band is bringing their gear up on stage just after the last band (whom I don’t remember nor give a shit). The club was soo jam packed with people the fire Marshall should have cleared out 100 or more people. I was told by some acquaintances that there were quite a few rock guitar celebrities present including Steve Vai, Joe Satriani, George Lynch and Steve Stevens were names I recall being thrown around. I didn’t see them because I couldn’t move from my spot, which I happened to be sitting on top of the bar with another 40 or so people. So if those guitar players plus many others that I was told about were really there or not is still unknown for sure.

Anyway getting back to the story. Zakk Fuck was bringing his gear up on stage and as I watched this, he (Zakk) began to get very agitated about something and in a very short period of time it was clear by Zakk’s body language, that Zakk was on the verge of exploding and I knew that whatever was going to happen with him it should be good and funny. And as I looked around I was amazed that with as dangerously over crowded as the building was, no one was paying any attention at all that this fucker was on the verge of blowing a gasket. The crowd was the loudest crowd I’ve ever experienced in a club. So much so I had to put my fingers in my ears and keep them there even between sets. So I was quite prepared when Zakk took control of the mic. And far louder than the crowd was, Zakk yells, “Which ever one of you fuckin’ assholes that stole my effects box if you got the guts to get up here I’ll kick your mother fuckin’ ass right now!!!!!”

Well, I had never seen nor heard of anything like this and neither had this audience. Because this crowd that had been so fuckin’ loud and rowdy, slamming shots and downing beer like it was their last day on the planet moments before, they could within just seconds of this happening, sound completely identical to a graveyard at 2 a.m. The silence was as abrupt as watching a u.f.o. doing mach 20 and instantly making a 100 degree turn without slowing down. Talk about the air and life being sucked out of the room. It took more than twelve minutes for the room to regain just fifty percent of it’s previous volume back. I know this because I was aware enough to actually time it with my Timex.

This must have been around the time in Zakk’s life when he was becoming a serious, full blown alcoholic because in addition to the above, to this day I’ve never seen it take any band soooo long to set up. Not even a bunch of stoned dumb asses screwing off. And yet Zakk and his hired hands looked like they were really working. So things are getting back to normal and I haven’t taken my eyes off this shit-heel fucker as he continues to set up his rig. Now, keep in mind, this is a “benefit show” for a very well known and very well respected and liked guitar player within the guitar community who has an extremely life-threatening disease. And with Jason’s family present no less, this scum-suckin’, walking pile of shit has the incredible disrespect for Jason and his family, not to mention all of us present, and outrageous nerve to say this. Zakk showed the professionalism of a spoiled three year old with an ear-ache having a temper tantrum.

So after what felt like it must have been an 8 hour work day worth of waiting, Zakk and the blind mice are about done setting up the stage to play when suddenly I see a guy waving at Zakk to get his attention. And after what seemed like the time it takes for nine Rose Parade floats to go by, he finally does get the drunk fuckers attention. Zakk staggers over, and this guy reaches up and hands Zakk “THE BOX!!,” the very effects box that has ignited all the disgraceful, embarrassing bullshit!! So I start to think that this is gonna get ugly real fast. Through the hand gestures the guy tells the Drunk that the box had fallen on the floor and as I’m watching this I can see from my own seat on top of the bar that the floor monitors which were pretty large to begin with all extended quite a bit beyond the edge of the stage and it’s dark all around there. So the box “ACCIDENTALLY” had gotten knocked off the stage on to the already dark floor and into the even darker area under the monitor. Here is a cool show spectator who “found” said box and “kindly” returned it. When someone helps you, a decent person shows some gratitude, thanks that person that helped them and maybe performs an act of kindness towards the person for finding and returning some personal property. That’s probably what was going to happen next…right?.


Zakk the classless, tactless unwashed piece of shit he is, begins to wave his hands at our hero “the good guy” to get away in a disgusted show and through my lip reading which in this case required no skill, Zakk is mouthing, “GO GO GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!! I DON’T GIVE A FUCK GO !!” After Zakk played that night and to this day (which by the way Zakk played with the skill of a 95 year old with arthritis or another way to put it, Kurt Cobain. That’s another topic.), I have NEVER heard of this miserable pile of goat puke EVER apologize for what he did that night. That was the beginning of the end for me saying anything positive about this walking road apple. Now, maybe some of you might think that I’m over reacting or it wasn’t aimed at me or some other line of politically correct bullshit, blah, blah, blah on and on. The thing that all of you need to keep in mind here and will help you is, I AM ALWAYS RIGHT, YOU ARE ALWAYS WRONG. There is no excuse for this act. An act that to this day I still can’t even find adequate words for. And not to apologize for it. This Son-of-a-Bitch should be banished. I saw Shit Fuck for the No Rest for the Wicked tour in ’88 which was his debut with Ozzy and he would hack up and spit these big snot blobs straight up into the air and catch them back into his mouth…on stage! WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!!?!!

The best playing Wylde has done to date was on the No Rest album. That’s it. I’ve heard stuff from his Black Label Society band and it’s all just boring material that sounds just like it is, written and performed by a lifelong drunk with the same depth and flair as used toilet water running down a gutter.

Zakk has progressively gotten worse as a player both technically as well as compositionally. Besides the fact he is a degenerate. I’ve seen many video’s on-line with him playing live and in some form of studio setting and he keeps getting worse and worse. Yet, so many fuckin’ slobs keep supporting him that the only thing I can come up with to explain this is there are more and more painfully stupid people being born every second. Which is a major part of my central theme. There is an on-line interview that this underwear skid-mark did with Metal Edge I saw where he says he’s doing a live CD/DVD where he’s going to leave playing mistakes on it. WHAT?!! Doing a live recording to release commercially, you record many shows and pull the best performances off of all the shows if you don’t have one perfect show. A mix and match of sorts. BUT, when done you’re “supposed” to have the finished product be a “fuck-up free” product!!  So, Zakk the dung-heap feels it’s “okay” to release a fucked up CD/DVD because his fans aren’t worth a shit enough to do it right for them. Plus he’s too busy drinking more “black label” and operating his backyard hillbilly distillery to be bothered with it. Zakk has also thrown many drunken’ temper tantrums “on stage” with incoherent rants all throughout the United States and I believe Europe as well. Assaulting engineers by physically throwing his guitars and other objects at them and other Innocent people, from what I’ve heard through some first-hand accounts and other reliable sources through the grapevine. Believe it or not, I don’t give a shit.

Zakk clearly is one mentally and chemically unbalanced, sick mother fuckin’, son-of-a-bitch that needs to be locked up. The fucker shows signs of being a sociopath. All of you poser players even after knowing this who continue to worship this pig-shit deserve to be worthless on guitar and even more so in life you stupid fuckin’ chimps. If anyone ever wondered what a hairless adult size chimpanzee would look like, just look at Zakk. A talking monkey with an I.Q. of 48.

All of this leads me to my next subject which is related. What do you get when you take all the stuff about Zakk and much more, and give it a brain with an I.Q. slightly above 90? Those in the rock business may call “it” Satan. The rest of the world knows “it” as Sharon Osbourne

Sharon Osbourne (A.K.A. The Devil)… Coming Soon!!….

Love, Crappy!


Do you want to know who I am? Who the hell is Crappystruth?? Click this link below to learn more about me.