PART TWO: Why YOU Over Paid by Hundreds to Tens of Thousands of Dollars for YOUR Electric Guitar and should have YOUR Fuckin’ Head Bashed In for Doing It… PART TWO

In my part two here,  I’m going to focus on a few specifics. And, they are, “RELICS”…….”FRETBOARD RADIUS”…….”24FRET NECKS”…..”FRETWIRE”…….”FLOYD ROSE/SCHALLER-FLOYD’S/IBANEZ ORIGINAL EDGE BRIDGES.”

RELICS”

When a guitar has that worn out or worn in look, sometimes it can look pretty cool. Ed Van Halen’s Frankenstrat’s look pretty cool with that look, don’t cha think? But, it’s rare to come across such a thing. What does it mean when you see that worn in look?  Well, fortunately for you I’m here to explain this. A worn in/out looking guitar means the guitar owner has played the shit out of it. That took no fuckin’ brains to figure out.

Putting in the flight time to be a good player (a good player in theory) will naturally, depending how abusive you are, create the worn marks on your guitar. This could be looked upon as a badge of honor. You’ve put in many long hours to hone your craft and these are the markings of that effort. That is why a person would think it looks cool. We all know Edward VH for example, has put in his time, so his axes look very cool. And, I really do believe when you play a guitar over a long period of time, it has your energy all over it. I might go so far as to say your “personality.” So, why on earth would someone WANT to buy a brand new guitar, fresh outta the box, that looks like “someone else” has broken it in with THEIR energy/personality all over it??!!

ANSWER: One answer is, because there are so many, millions in fact, of horrible fuckin’ hack guitar users (you’re not even worth calling guitar players), that the nightmare thought of “ACTUALLY PRACTICING CORRECTLY” wakes you up in the middle of the night in great fear and cold sweats. There is always someone looking to find a better, easier way to do something, and that’s great. BUT….to buy a guitar to give the “illusion”  and, I’ll go so far as to say “trick” people who come over to your shack, in to thinking that you’ve put in the practice time, is bullshit, embarrassing, and quite frankly, pathetic. And, you know the jig is up what they hear you TRY to play.

Another reason may be, is that you’re just too muther fuckin’ lazy. How’s that for simplicity?? Ya stupid, gutless fuckers. Now, if you’re one of the few who fortunately have the brains to have figured this out all on your own, without any help, then you may laugh along with me.

“FRETBOARD RADIUS”

 

Fretboard radius is not a new satellite radio service. Fretboard radius may be something some of you don’t understand and that’s okay, I’ll explain. Fretboard radius is the arc or curve of the the fretboard that can most easily be seen when you hold up your guitar to your eye horizontally at one end and look down the length of the guitar neck. This is also the technique to check the neck to see if the neck needs the truss rod adjusted. The neck will have a bend or bow in it that would require a quarter turn or so (maybe more, maybe less) of the truss rod, depending on the severity of the bow.

Now, back to radius. Anything more than a zero degree radius is a very bad thing. Zero degree radius means the fretboard is totally and completely flat. You’ve noticed when you bend notes with very low action, the note will fret out. Right? This happens because of the curvature of the fretboard and when bending the note, the string comes in contact with another fret. When you eliminate the curvature, you eliminate the problem of fretting out and then you can have terrifically low action on your guitar and bend notes over the top of the neck. A small fix to the problem if you don’t have a zero radius board, is to possibly have the frets leveled which isn’t cheap. This will be a fairly decent fix. But not as good as zero radius.

“24 FRET NECKS”

Every guitar built should have no less than a 24 fret neck. 24 frets is two full octaves. What the fuck? Ibanez, Fender, and Gibson are the most produced guitars here in the States. Ibanez, with the exception of their basement line, all have 24 fret necks. As it should be. Why do I say this, you ask? Here is why: when making a typical neck, Fender and Gibson have gone to the trouble of making either 21 or 22 frets. Why stop??? This makes no muther fuckin’ sense!!! You’re two or three frets short of your goal!!! You go drive to the mall that’s 5 miles away, then stop and park your car three blocks from the mall. “Well, I drove 4 miles and 9/10ths, that’s good enough!!

                                 “FRET WIRE”

Fret wire comes in varying heights and widths. I personally like 6100 gauge. This was found first on the original Ibanez JEM 777 models. 6100 fret wire is the highest and widest fret available on mass market guitars that I’ve come across and I feel every guitar should come equipped with this gauge. Les Paul’s fret wire is very small and low, as though it’s on it’s last leg just before needing a fret job. Having large frets as with the 6100 is the closest you can get to a scalloped fretboard/neck which I really like. I’ll talk about scalloped boards in PART THREE.

“FLOYD ROSE BRIDGES/SCHALLER-FLOYD’S/GOTOH-FLOYD’S/ IBANEZ ORIGINAL EDGE”

These bridges are just the best things. I like the Schaller and Gotoh made Floyd’s better than the actual Floyd’s. And, I also like the Edge a bit better than the conventional Floyd because of the smoothness of operation over the Floyd as well. But the problem with the Edge (unless they’ve fixed this little glitch) is the Edge, from what I’ve learned from some Ibanez people very long ago, is the Edge is made by compressing small pellets of metals together, something like taking wet sand and molding it into a ball. Whereas, the Floyd and Schaller-Floyd is a solid piece of metal. So, if this is true, this may explain breakage’s with the vibrato bars and breakage’s with the Edge bridges themselves.

On a little added note about the Original Edge replacement bars. The tip that snaps into the Edge below the white washers is very different in shape than the original bar the JEM 777 and RG 540, 550, 570, 770 those in that range came with, and some of these asshole sales guys will tell you it doesn’t matter, it will fit anyway. My answer to this is….. BULLSHIT!!! And don’t you or anyone try to JAM/FORCE the bar into the bridge. It should only take a little pressure to get it to slide in and then there’s a final “snap” you can hear and feel once the bar is in all the way. The Original Edge bar’s end looks like a triangle cone shape with the tip cut off. The replacement’s look like a mutilated, half-ass attempt at reproducing the original with it being rounded rather than a sharp triangle cone.

The Jackson-Floyd’s are an entirely different story altogether. These Jackson Floyd bridges overall, are shit (UNLESS it’s Stamped “Made In Germany By Schaller” on the top by the bar hole. This is the ONLY EXCEPTION!! ). There is an occasional decent one I’ve found on a Dinky MG (arch top model. Some do play well), but you better watch out. The Allen wrench screws easily get fucked up, stripped or just plain defective from the factory and CAN NOT be switched for a real Floyd or Edge screws. Which I learned from a guy whose had even more experience at this than myself and has worked for almost 20 years with reps and tech’s from Jackson-Fender. However, your mileage may differ. And getting replacement screws from Jackson who is owned by Fender, is like writing a letter to Santa everyday asking why your new Vette wasn’t under the tree last year.

The fine tuners on the Jackson-Floyds rarely function right too. They feel like when they tapped them and/or the bridge, they didn’t do it correctly because when using the fine tuners they catch and stick and never move smoothly like an Edge, Schaller-Floyd and real Floyd. Plus, most of these half-ass Jackson-Floyd’s don’t stay in tune once their locked down.

That’s it for today kiddies!!

Crappy!! xo

Do you want to know who I am? Who the hell is Crappystruth?? Click this link below to learn more about me.

 https://crappystruth.wordpress.com/2007/07/03/hello-world/

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