No Fuckin’ Chick Can Rock….Except These….

Hey dipshit!! Before you get too excited, you better read the part 1 of this 2 parter;  https://crappystruth.wordpress.com/2007/07/26/no-fuckin-chick-can-rock-broads-can-not-rock-and-chick-bands-totally-fuckin-suck/

The exceptions to every rule concept does exist. Just because an exception exists, doesn’t change the sometimes very painful fact that the RULE is in place and never changing. Thanks to the constant flow of talentless, hacking bullshit coming from all over. The exceptions to my rock rule are here. I’m always open to new music. Anytime I can add to my enjoyable music collection, I’m ready to jump on it. However, these are not new people, but they thoroughly fuckin’ rock. They’ve been around for some time. In fact, in one maybe two cases, they’ve been around since the early 80’s even late 70’s. In this installment of SUCKS, I’m talking about female singers only. They can be female singers in an all male band or female singers in an all female band. The latter being just two bands I’ve ever heard so far. The two all chick bands are original Phantom Blue and Vixen.

I’ll start with the two that I know of so far from the 80’s: Ann Boleyn and Pat Benatar.

Ann Boleyn…..holy shit, this woman can belt out vocals like very few, seasoned male metal singers can. Ann’s got pipes of steel. I prefer Ann’s material with her band Hellion, specifically with axeman Chet Thompson. Ann’s other material with Hellion and later material is good also, and her other guitarists and bandmates are all competent players. The best way to describe Ann’s ability is to hear her on youtube. The other singers I’ll be covering here have some kind of operatic training background, but as far as I know, Ann doesn’t. Which makes her even more unusual. Along with the fact that the others also don’t possess that “metal” sound either. As far as metal vocals go with a woman, Ann Boleyn is a freak of nature. Ann is just a helova talent and sadly, far too often overlooked. In my authoritative view, Ann Boleyn is the undisputed queen of heavy metal.

Pat Benatar…. is an operatically trained singer and it can be heard in her style. Pat sings in a much more popular style but her power and range, I’m happy to say, still come through in the material she performs. Pat has a little gravelly tone sometimes that gives her singing an edge to it as well as that rough tone keeps her separate from the bubble gum bullshit.

Tarja Turunen…. is a Finnish soprano best known for her legendary work with and founding member/lead singer of the symphonic power metal band Nightwish. Tarja is the definition of a vocal powerhouse. This woman, I feel has been able to single handedly bring female vocals of the highest quality to the forefront in a true power metal fashion. Tarja’s musical sensibilities, her vocal melody lines and ability to deliver the largest amount of original, unique and overall creativity and performance I’ve ever heard to date. This woman has crossed the line into supernatural. Tarja has been a huge and main influence on the next on my list….

Simone Simons…. is a Dutch mezzo-soprano and mainly known as the lead singer in the symphonic power metal band Epica. Simone’s vocals are the most beautiful sounds and about as close to hearing an angel sing as I’ve ever heard. When I hear her voice, depending on the tune, I experience a variety of mental pictures including a ghostly apparition to a dark gothic 16th century ghost story to an angelic being guiding a lost child into the light. These are a few of the incredible vocal flavors and melodic landscapes this remarkable singer can produce with her clearly gifted abilities. I’ll use the same word here about Simone, she too has crossed over into the supernatural. After all this praise I’ve given to Simone, the only thing about her vocals that I feel doesn’t quite fit is that her singing for the power metal genre is a little too clean. I would like to hear some slight raspiness in some of her material. Perhaps 3-4 songs out of a 10 song CD.

Honorable mentions:

Quinn Weng of Seraphim from Taipei Taiwan. Very floaty and soft. Not really a metal woman at all, just nice to listen to as a non-metal singer in a metal context.

Beatriz Albert of Ebony Ark from Madrid Spain is fantastic. Beatriz is a complete vocal package. The right amount of well balanced aggression and an undeniable power combined with an unusually unique youthful brightness. This woman’s voice cuts through and takes control of every song with a real conviction that is rarely heard. I’ll even go so far as to say she sometimes sounds like she’s got a slight flavor of Ann Boleyn. Very slight. The one problem that Beatriz has, and it’s a serious one when you’re going to be in the public eye, is she needs to drop 40-50 pounds. It’s not enough to be a great artist, you must look the part as well. This applies to every single performer/entertainer no matter the area of choice.

One band I do want to mention here is Bitch with Betsy Bitch on vocals from the very early 80’s. She’s a decent singer and still looks really good.

There are more, but that’s it for now. These truly phenomenal singers you will check out and realize again, I am always right. You will delve into the symphonic metal world and come across others for yourself. You just can’t go wrong. Now….go!!….Get outta here and find them ya lazy shits!!

Love, Crappy  xo!!

p.s. If you think I’m gettin’ a little soft, you better read PART 1 of this Click the link below:

https://crappystruth.wordpress.com/2007/07/26/no-fuckin-chick-can-rock-broads-can-not-rock-and-chick-bands-totally-fuckin-suck/

Do you want to know who I am? Who the hell is Crappystruth?? Click this link below to learn more about me.

 https://crappystruth.wordpress.com/2007/07/03/hello-world/

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