Crappy’s Guitar 101: Episode 2 Using the Vibrato Bar

Hello again kiddies!!
                              And, here is the next installment of me busting your musically illiterate fuckin‘ asses in the form of, “Crappy’s Guitar 101.”  “Hooray!!!! Thanks Crappy!!!! I have needed my pathetic fuckin’ ass kicked for years!!!! And, you’ve got the size 12 to bury straight up my sphincter into my ribcage!!!!!”
 
                    Alright, down to the business of using the vibrato bar (a.k.a. whammy bar). I was a guest clinician of sorts discussing and demonstrating the proper use of the vibrato bar. How to accurately recreate the sights and sounds of Steve Vai and Joe Satriani’s bar antics. This was the type of playing Vai did specifically before he began his then, new love affair and procreation with the Eventide H3000, which evolved into the Orville and now the juggernaut-monster-incarnate, the H8000 FW.
 
 
                  There must be something genetically malformed in most people who try to use a vibrato bar. Sometimes I wonder if it should be off limits for someone new and even intermediate at guitar, to fuck with a vibrato bar.
 
The Problem:  Using the bar so it sounds like the user is shivering in -2 degree weather outside.
 
                  Taking the bar and hitting a harmonic or just a random note and making small, fast, up and down movements with the bar. Now, you’re supposed to be trying to duplicate in someway a real guitar player like Vai, Satch, or EVH’s attempts. “Gosh!! Why won’t it work for me??!!” Well, there are 3 reasons why it’s not working for you, numb-nut!!
 
1. YOU’RE NOT LISTENING to the artist you’re trying to duplicate.
2. YOU’RE NOT LISTENING to the artist you’re trying to duplicate.
3. You’re not using the full range of movement the bar offers.
 
The Fix:
 
1. LISTEN CLOSELY to what the artist is doing.
2. LISTEN CLOSELY to what the artist is doing.
3. Experiment with the wide range of movement the bar has to offer. Exaggerate the notes, making them long.
 
Even if you don’t have an Edge, Floyd or Schaller-Floyd, but you have the original standard, cheap-crap bridge that came with the guitar, that goes outta tune if you just look at it pissed, you can get some frequencies going. In most cases you should be able to copy fairly close to what their doing if you follow “The Fix”
 
There, and it IS, just that easy!
 
Crappy….
Episode 3 Below:
https://crappystruth.wordpress.com/2009/06/11/crappy%e2%80%99s-guitar-101-episode-3-vibrato-and-bending-notes/
Episode 1 Below:
https://crappystruth.wordpress.com/2009/04/10/crappys-guitar-101-episode-1-pickup-abusers/
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